Change can be both exciting and scary, and unwanted changes can be particularly stressful. Figuring out how to cope while acknowledging loss and grief can be tough for children. They may be inclined to withdraw or shut down and need help to see the possibilities that a change could offer.
Author Molly Beth Griffin tackles the complexities of change in her picture book, Ten Beautiful Things. She invites readers to join Lily in identifying some of the positives associated with moving to Iowa with her Gram. Read the story with children ages 3+ and use one or more of the following activities to explore change, grief, and opening oneself to new opportunities.
Negativity. When Gram first suggests looking for beautiful things, Lily doesn’t want to play along. Invite children to think about how Lily might be feeling. Say: Imagine you are Lily and I am Gram. When I say, “Let’s try to find ten beautiful things along the way,” you respond with “There’s nothing beautiful here.” Encourage them to use their bodies and voices to convey how they think they would feel in Lily’s place.
Complaints. Lily feels sensations in her chest and belly that are hard for her to handle. Invite children to pay attention to the sensations in their own bodies. Say: Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Hold your hands in front of your face with your palms facing you. Notice how the muscles in your face feel. (pause) Slowly move your hands down your body, pausing at your shoulders (pause), chest (pause), belly (pause), hips (pause), and feet (pause). What sensations did you notice in your body each time you paused? Encourage children to open their eyes and share about their experiences with body scanning.
Perspective. Sometimes Gram and Lily disagree about whether something should count. Invite children to draw a picture of something that they find beautiful but others might not see that way. Encourage them to share why they find that object or experience beautiful.
Uncertainty. Lily moves back and forth between feeling the beauty of things around her and feeling queasy about having to move. Invite children to create a Venn diagram (see Related Resources) with two overlapping circles: one for positive aspects of moving and one for negative aspects, with things that could go either way in the overlapping space. Encourage children to describe or draw their ideas in the chart.
Discouragement. Gram and Lily have only named nine beautiful things when they pull up to the farmhouse in Iowa. A shared hug helps Lily see that their relationship is number 10. Invite children to make a list of things that help them feel better when they feel discouraged. See if you can come up with at least 10 things per person. Note that different people may have some different things that work for them. Encourage them to keep their list as a reminder of their resources.
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