For children, Valentine’s Day is more about friendship than romance. They’re generally eager to exchange valentine cards with classmates. Sometimes they complain about the ‘everybody or nobody’ rule, but they get why leaving someone out can hurt. So they hunt for a boxed set of cards that hits just the right balance of silly and cute to cover all sorts of relationships. Or they create homemade cards festooned with hearts for special friends and less elaborate versions for the rest of the class.
Developing and negotiating healthy friendships is one of life’s basic tasks. Valentine’s Day shines a spotlight on the complexities of such relationships. Friendships are not always reciprocal. And learning all the prosocial behaviors that make for good friendships takes time.
This Valentine’s Day (or any day), invite children to join in a guided meditation that will help them reflect on the characteristics of their friendships and what they can do to be a good friend. Listen to the podcast together or share the link so they can listen by themselves.
Transcript
Find a comfortable place to sit and close your eyes. (pause)
Take a deep breath (pause) and let it out. (pause)
Deep breath (pause) and let it out. (pause)
Once more, breathe in (pause) and let it out. (pause)
Think about someone you wish would give you a special valentine. (pause)
What is special about this person? (pause)
How do you feel when you are around this person? (pause)
What do they say or do that you really like? (pause)
Why do you want to be their friend? (pause)
Think about another person you wish would give you a special valentine. (pause)
What is special about this person? (pause)
How do you feel when you are around this person? (pause)
What do they say or do that you really like? (pause)
Why do you want to be their friend? (pause)
Think about who might want to receive a special valentine from you. (pause)
What would they say is special about you? (pause)
How do you think they feel when they are around you? (pause)
What are some things you say or do that they might really like? (pause)
Why do you think they would want to be your friend? (pause)
Think about someone else who might want to receive a special valentine from you. (pause)
What would they say is special about you? (pause)
How do you think they feel when they are around you? (pause)
What are some things you say or do that they might really like? (pause)
Why do you think they would want to be your friend? (pause)
Take a deep breath (pause) and let it out. (pause)
Cross your arms and wrap them around your body in a big hug.
Squeeze as little or as tightly as you like. (pause)
As you continue to hug yourself,
take another deep breath (pause) and let it out. (pause)
Once more, breathe in (pause) and let it out. (pause)
Then let your arms drop into your lap and open your eyes.
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