Exploring Empathy with Who Is My Neighbor?

In a polarized world where people call each other names and gloat over another’s misfortune, children can be confused. They wonder how to decide who to trust and when to care. Parents and caregivers may also struggle with their own emotional reactions to social divisions. They may be tempted to denigrate those with whom they disagree, especially if the conflict is related to closely held values.

Authors Amy-Jill Levine and Sandy Sasso take on the topic of social distrust in Who Is My Neighbor?, a picture book for ages 3+. Read the book together and use one or more of the following activities to explore how children (and adults) can recognize and overcome their fear of differences and practice empathy for others.

Difference. Blues and Yellows each live in a world that celebrates sameness. They are surrounded by things that reflect their color. Invite children to draw a picture (or create a collage) of all the things they like, leaving a wide border (like a picture frame) around the page. Then encourage them to think about their friends and neighbors and circle things in the picture that they also like. Suggest that they add different things around the border of the picture that others enjoy but are not the child’s favorites. Wonder together about how similar and different they are from the people around them.

Caution. Some adult Blues and Yellows warn children that people of the other color are not their neighbors. Ask children: Who do adults warn you about? Why do they say you shouldn’t think of some people as neighbors? Make a list together of reasons to worry about other people. Then make a list of reasons to be excited about meeting new people. Ask: When have you been surprised by how much you enjoyed meeting someone new? How can we be more open to people who are different from us?

Fears. When Midnight Blue has a bike accident, Navy and Powder Blue are afraid to stop and help. Lemon and Midnight Blue are also scared. Invite children to close their eyes and think of something that scares them when they meet someone new. It might be something about the other person or something about themselves, like not knowing what to say, or feeling intimidated by someone else’s talent, or viewing someone through a stereotype. Then, with their eyes still closed, invite them to imagine how they might shift from feeling scared to feeling curious. Open your eyes and share your ideas.

Risk. Lemon and Midnight Blue decide to risk interacting. When they share their experience with the Blues and Yellows, everyone decides to risk getting to know those who are different from them. Encourage children to act out scenarios where they see someone different and decide to spend time together. Ask: What would you do? How would you get to know each other better? If you like, play a game of charades and take turns guessing the scenarios dramatized by the kids.